​Starting therapy is a big step.  The most critical piece is finding the right therapist for you and developing a trusting and safe therapeutic relationship.  It is natural for this process to feel intimidating.  Meeting someone new is difficult and sharing your feelings and personal information can feel uncomfortable and vulnerable.  I want to share a few tips with you to make this process a little less stressful whether you decide to work with myself or any therapist:

 

#1 Interview your potential therapist

You are hiring someone to help you and you have the right to find someone who is a good fit.  Narrow down your search from the internet, your doctor, or from a friend and ask for a consultation with each therapist (most therapists like myself will offer a free consultation and some do not).  Let them know you are in the process of finding a therapist.  During the consultation be prepared to discuss the following information:

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a.) Your history in therapy, the last time you attended, and the outcome 

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b.) What you are seeking therapy for (trauma, depression, parenting, etc.)

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c.) Ask what the therapist specializes in and specifically ask about what theoretical orientation they use (for example, Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior therapy (DBT), Narrative Therapy, etc.)

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d.) Ask if the therapist has any special certifications or special training.  

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e.) Ask how much money they charge per session and what sort of payment they take (insurance, sliding scale, personal checks)

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f.)  Ask how many minutes they hold sessions and if they have evening or weekend appointments

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g.) Let the the therapist know your expectation - what are you looking to get out of therapy

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h.)  Ask if they do in person or online therapy 

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i.)  And ALWAYS check the Board of Behavior Science (BBS) website to make sure their license is valid and up to date.  Get the therapist's first and last name and go to this website: https://www.bbs.ca.gov/.  On the BBS website click on their credentials (LCSW, LMFT, etc.) and choose "verify a license."  

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#2 It's okay if it's not a good fit

One of the most important elements of therapy is the relationship. If you attend your first session and it's not a good fit, that's okay.  Just be honest and let the therapist know.  Don't worry about hurting anyone's feelings.  A lot can come up for you.  The therapist might remind you of someone negative in your life, or might be overly authoritarian, you might find out you have a mutual friend, or you just get a gut feeling.  It's important you go into the therapy with a good or neutral feeling about the therapist. Don't ever feel obligated to do therapy with someone.  If you feel like giving it a few sessions, that's great!  But remember your gut instinct is trying to tell you something if you feel it.  I say this because if you're not able to build rapport and trust with your therapist fully, this could be a barrier to your healing and treatment.  So just keep this in mind.  It's also important that a therapist understand your gender, culture, religion, race, and sexual orientation, etc.  You will get a sense of this as you get to know each other.  

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#3 Inquire about treatment and goals

Ask the therapist about treatment, goals, and progress.  It's important to have a therapy goal to measure success in treatment.  When you enter therapy you are starting at a baseline and with any intervention there should be change.  It could be positive change or negative change.  The goal will state the change that is desired and your sessions are interventions toward that goal.  Often a therapist will give you "homework" to work on outside of therapy.  These are usually easy activities, behavior changes, or reading material.  Session is usually only once a week and for 50-60 minutes, so outside of therapy you must engage in some form of homework to reinforce the interventions learned in treatment.  If you are working with someone in private therapy it's important to have a goal and a rough projection of how long treatment may take.  Remember that it's in the therapist's best interest to keep you in session (you pay them) so an ethical therapist will talk about a goal, timeline of treatment, and what termination will look like.  Generally the frequency of therapy starts out with weekly sessions and depending on the person and what they are working on, sessions will drop down to every other week or monthly, and then ultimately a final session.  An ethical therapist should never make you feel dependent on them.  They should help you feel empowered, safe, and capable of managing your behavior and engaging successfully in your life.  

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If you're interested in joining a group, visit the Contact Amber page to schedule a free 30 minute consultation.

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